i permit you to call me
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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