I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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