So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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