so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
