Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
