Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize