theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
