I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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