No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
