we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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