this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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