Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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