Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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