This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
