U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
