I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
