literally had 100 drinks last night.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
