You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
