Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
