Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
