Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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