it wasn't lemon gatorade
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
