I want to stick my p in your. b.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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