He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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