You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
