dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize