So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
