so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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