am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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