i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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