he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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