Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize