just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She even gives head with a lisp.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
