thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
