what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
