But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
