That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
