what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you had me at cake vodka
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize