He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
