I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
