alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
