Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
