I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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