you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
