He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
