I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
A bitchslap is in order.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
