if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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