I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
