Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
