so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
