It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
