we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
