I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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