you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
