So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize