Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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