The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
