ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
