Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
