Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
