I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
