All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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