found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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