Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
