I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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