He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
