literally had 100 drinks last night.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize