no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
