ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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